BabyDan gate to go reveiw

I wanted a gate to put on the front door as we have a step down onto concrete from it, we've not being able to have the door open since lotties been on the move. So after having a look around we decided that the BabyDan Gate to Go would be best and as its on offer in Argos for only £16.99 it was the perfect solution.
The reviews in the Argos website weren't very good saying that it wasnt very sterdy and hard to install, but I cant push it out of the door frame (and iv tried) and its so easy to install. If you want to use it alot in the same place that you want to go through lots I can see that it could get annoying but its not meant for permanent use, and at 5'7" I can step over it. The only downside to it that doesnt matter to me anyway is that it is quite heavy, so if you did want to take it on holiday abroad it would take up a fair bit of your luggage allowance.
Thanks for reading
Exx

TTC

The day after having my implant out last month i had bleed not sure if it was a period or just the effect of having the implant out, but last thursday i came on a proper period which means one thing WE CAN START TRYING TO CONCIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay finally this past month has felt so long, and although we didn't use protection once or twice we knew the chances we're so slim that we didn't worry about (although if we had become pregnant from it our due date would have been Lotties birthday, so glad we didn't lol). I am really nervouse about a few things, firstly that its going to take a long time, im so impatiant that i know that every month that my period comes is going to be heart breaking. i also think iv scared myself by reading into secondy infertility to much, the chances of it happening should be quite slim with me only being 20 but it can still happen. Another worry of mine is that that when i do get pregnant is that i have a really bad pregnancy and birth, after having such an easy time first time round. And also how im going to cope with a new baby and a toddler, i bearly moved of the sofa for the 1st month after lottie was born but it didnt matter because i only had the two of us to look after, so how will i cope being up all night then getting up and running round after lottie? i guess you just get on and and do it so many other people manage to do it, i just hope i can.

i dont want Lottie to feel left out or unloved because i want another baby so badly, or sound ungrateful that i already have one beautiful healthy child. to  me my family just doesnt feel complete and i wouldnt want Lottie to grow up on her own and not know what its like to have such a close friendship that only siblings have. And would hate for her to be spoilt. I also feel that she has alot of presure on her being the only grandchild on both sides bit especially L's, sometimes it feels like they treat her like shes a performing monkey.

Wish me luck!!!!
E xx

Good or bad news

On Thursday morning my boss said he wanted to have a word with me and instantly I thought im being sacked or made self employed! But after worrying all day what he was going to say he told me at the end of the day that iv got to have my hours cut down to 16 from 26. Well I didnt know whether to be happy or sad, because iv wanted to cut my hours down when came back from maternity leave, but we needed the money more so just had to get on with it. Now the choice has been made for me even though we're going to be absolutely broke im so happy I can be more of a stay at home mum like iv always wanted. And its given us the kick up the arse to clear all our debts with spare wedding money, so in theory now we should be better off anyway :) even though my boss said its only temporary till business picks up again I dont think I want to go back up to 26 hours! But we'll just have to wait and see how we get on. Thanks for reading xxelliexx

Terrible twos at 15months

Well its arrived the terrible age that iv been dreading since I found out I was pregnant. Lottie has started having temper tantrums! I really didn't think it would start for a few more months yet, but I think she just has similar personality to me, she knows what she wants and wont stop till she gets it. Im finding it so hard to know what to do, up untill now iv always been quite confident in what im doing with her, but disaplin wise I dont know how to go about it. So iv started just ignoring her, I'll put her safely on the floor (at home) and walk off till shes calmed down, then go over tell her why she was naughty/ explain that I understand why shes frustrated and then move on as quickly as possible distracting her with toys. Am I doing the right thing? Is this the best way with a 15month old? I really hope this phase passes quickly. Can anyone help?
Thanks for reading
E xxx

Nice weather finally

Whats that yellow thing in the sky I dont think I recognise it?! So finally we have some nice weather and finally my washing pile is going down. Only problem is that I cant stand the heat, it makes me so bad tempered that I spend most the day in the shade. Unfortunately I think Lottie takes after me as shes been so crabbie and takes hours to get off to sleep at night because shes to hot.

Oops forgot to post this wrote it a few days ago as you can tell as its been raining for the last 4 day.

Thanks for reading xxx

The month thats been

Cant believe iv not blogged in a month, had such a busy and eventful month iv just not found the time. Firstly iv come off my anti-depresants, which has been a big step for me, I think im doing ok and when I feel abit anxious I know that I need to take abit of time out and approach whatever it is thats making me, rather than just leaving it and hoping it sorts it self out.
Also had my contraceptive implant out last week so very excited now as we've decided to start trying at the end of August, so even if we're lucky and it happens straight away I wont be more than 13weeks at the wedding. Im so excited to be pregnant again I loved it so much last time. I just hope it happens quite quickly as im so impatient and dont think I could take the disappointment of finding out im not every month.
Lotties growing into a little girl more and more every day I dont know where my little baby has gone. We had to take the side off her cot bed the other week after we found her nearly climbing over the top of it, so now she just has a bed rail, its so strange looking at her asleep in it, she just looks so grown up. Her walking is really coming on now shes getting more and more confident, up until yesterday she was always abit cautious outside and would want to hold your hand, but yesterday when we went to the fair she just set of walking, I think she wanted to go to the children's train and knew that I was talking to a friend while our partners were on the ride, so there was no chance that I was gonna go for a walk round with her, so she wiggled out of my arms and trotted off, luckly she had her reins on so couldnt get far away. So we'd go about 20 meters and go back and start again. Now we're trying to help get her speech better as she still not got many recognisable words, but she can babble for England in her own little language.
Me and L had a week off two weeks ago which was lovely to spend time as a family. We didnt do alot, just went shopping out of town one day, and took Lottie to her first friends birthday party, where she had great fun, although I got text two days later saying one of the children there had come out in chicken pox, think we've escaped it this time although I did really want to get it over and done with early.
Thanks for reading

Holiday

Well me and Lottie have just got back after a lovely few days away in north Wales with my parents the highlight of the trip was defiantly taking Lottie to the sealife centre in rhyl, must say im not a fan of rhyl its very run down, she absolutely loved it I really can recommend the sea life centre, lots of things for kids even from a young age. The biggest news from our holiday was defiantly hme Lottie has started WALKING BY HER SELF :) and had lots of fun walking on the beach. I cant believe shes started walking its been a long time coming, we did think she'd be walking by 10months but she just never seemed to get the confidence until now. so I guess this is when the fun really starts.
E xxx

Heat and a baby

One word nightmare, this last week has been awful Lottie gets a heat rash if shes in the sun more than 10mins, shes constantly nigly, and is waking earlier and earlier every day because of the light. So today going to look into getting a blackout blind, any recommendations?

E XX

Contraceptive implant coming out :)

Rang the doctor yesterday and am now on the waiting list to have my implant out, hopefully by end of June, with me still being on anti-depressents we've got to wait till im off them which should be September (fingers crossed) till we can start to ttc. I really can't wait I loved being pregnant, even with the morning sickness every night for 14weeks, since having Lottie iv missed it. Although I must admit im already getting worried because I was so lucky with lottie, I had a nice little neat bump, I can even remember in my last week at work when I was 38 weeks telling a client and her not believing me. And I had such an easy birth 1hour 45mins what happens if next time I find it really hard or have a really long labor? O well it would still be worth it even it was.

weigh in 1year 3weeks

So today i got my little baby weighed only she's  not so little anymore a whole 22lbs 1oz, wish i knew where that tiny 6lb 8oz baby has gone feel like i blinked and suddenly shes grown up. Its so important to enjoy every moment, i really have tried to but i did find it hard to when struggling with all the emotions that go with anxiety, I do feel that It made me miss alot. Im finally starting to really get better now so have lots of catching up to do.  E xxxx

Things I can't leave the house without

One of the biggest things thats changed since having Lottie is no longer can I just nip out to the shop with my purse and keys now everytime I leave the house I have 100s of things that Im checking off in my head as im walking out the door. Firstly have I got my baby 2. Is she dresses 3. Am I dressed ( you might laugh but I have nearly left the house in pjs) 4. Then raincover/sunshade (or both seen as the weathers so unpredictable) 5. Milk 6. Bottle 7. Snacks 8. Meals 9. Juice 10. Nappys 11. Wipes 12. Nappy bags 13. Change of outfit 14. Extra layers of clothing 15. Sun cream 16. Sun hat 17. Woolly hat 18. mits 19. Enough toys to keep her entertained 20. Phone 21. Keys 22. Purse 23. Spare dummy and all thats just for popping out to the shops and im pretty sure that iv forgotten something off this list.

Decorating with baby in tow yestetday

Really not the best idea we've had but it needed doing and lottie was very well behaved (for most of it anyway) and had a lovely 2hour nap so we really managed to get on. When she woke up though all she wanted to do was get to the paint. I can't say I blame her really but seen as its a rented house with cream carpets we spent most the afternoon screaming 'NO'. Its nice now to have our adult bedroom back without kids toys in the bed. The main reason it needed doing (apart from the damp) was that the furniture was arranged to fit a cot aswell but seen as shes settled in her room so well now it seems pointless saving space for it. And feel loads better for having a good clear out of all the crap we seem to accumulate.

Wedding Dilemma- to spend or not to spend- flowergirl dress

Its currently 209 days till the big day and after all Lottie's birthday celebrations thought Id better start thinking about the wedding again and am wondering whether its worth spending alot of money on Lottie's dress? Our wedding is on a bit of a budget anyway, but i want everyone to comment on how beautiful she looks in it. I had fallen in love with a dress for her at a wedding fair but in total would have come to well over £100 for it and that seems a lot for a something shes only going to have on for 8 hours (yes  my dress was more that but it is my wedding day, she'll have hers in 20years or so). My main worry if i buy her one of the high street is that if one of our guests children turn up in the same dress. I have only looked on the Internet so far so will probably be worth going out to some of the shops and seeing what they actually look like.

Why are weddings so complicated I really wish we'd just ran away to Gretna Green now, would save so much fussing. I don't even want to start to think about the guest list because I know it's going to cause me some sleepless nights. Even my 'hen do', that's (hopefully) going to be a spa day, seems stressful to book. When it comes to planning our wedding it constantly feels like everything we do we have to think how our guests will react to it and try not to upset anyone. When i have brides in the salon for their make-up trials I always ask them how the plannings going  and I always give the one piece of advice and I'm sure many of you have heard before "If you can't please everyone, please yourself" think its time I took my own advice.

E xXx

Bed time routine is finally working

For the past 6 weeks me and L have been tierlessly trying to get Lottie to fall asleep by herself in her own cot and i think we have finally cracked it tonight she fell asleep in 5minuets in the dark Woohoo. im sure most parents of 1year olds will be wondering what the big deal is, as im sure alot of parents who have their "perfect little angels" have been doing this for months already. But for lazy parents like us who let her fall asleep in our arms while we watched Tv and let her sleep in our bed, i know i know we're bad parents but between my anxity making me exhausted and L working a different shift everyday (getting in at 10.30pm leaving again at 6.15am the next morning), its been a big change for all of us and after having quite a few nights where iv wanted to throw in the towel, but somehow amazingly we've struggled through and she now sleeps though the night on her own.It's best feeling ever so proud of her and us.
And also gives me and L some time back for ourselves.

first blog post

Hi iv never written a blog before so you'll have to bare with me while i get to grips with it, and im afraid put up with my rants. let me introduce myself im Elouise im 20 and have a beautiful 1 year old daughter Scarlett or Lottie for short, on 1st December i'll become Mrs Horan, i also work part time as a Beauty Therapist.
Since having Lottie iv also suffered from anxiety an illness that i think many mums and doctors over look due to the symptoms not being overly obvious. So i also hope to raise awareness of anxity and make people realise the seriousness of the illness.
 Hope you enjoy reading my blog and please feel free to leave comments
Lots of love