Heat and a baby

One word nightmare, this last week has been awful Lottie gets a heat rash if shes in the sun more than 10mins, shes constantly nigly, and is waking earlier and earlier every day because of the light. So today going to look into getting a blackout blind, any recommendations?

E XX

Contraceptive implant coming out :)

Rang the doctor yesterday and am now on the waiting list to have my implant out, hopefully by end of June, with me still being on anti-depressents we've got to wait till im off them which should be September (fingers crossed) till we can start to ttc. I really can't wait I loved being pregnant, even with the morning sickness every night for 14weeks, since having Lottie iv missed it. Although I must admit im already getting worried because I was so lucky with lottie, I had a nice little neat bump, I can even remember in my last week at work when I was 38 weeks telling a client and her not believing me. And I had such an easy birth 1hour 45mins what happens if next time I find it really hard or have a really long labor? O well it would still be worth it even it was.

weigh in 1year 3weeks

So today i got my little baby weighed only she's  not so little anymore a whole 22lbs 1oz, wish i knew where that tiny 6lb 8oz baby has gone feel like i blinked and suddenly shes grown up. Its so important to enjoy every moment, i really have tried to but i did find it hard to when struggling with all the emotions that go with anxiety, I do feel that It made me miss alot. Im finally starting to really get better now so have lots of catching up to do.  E xxxx

Things I can't leave the house without

One of the biggest things thats changed since having Lottie is no longer can I just nip out to the shop with my purse and keys now everytime I leave the house I have 100s of things that Im checking off in my head as im walking out the door. Firstly have I got my baby 2. Is she dresses 3. Am I dressed ( you might laugh but I have nearly left the house in pjs) 4. Then raincover/sunshade (or both seen as the weathers so unpredictable) 5. Milk 6. Bottle 7. Snacks 8. Meals 9. Juice 10. Nappys 11. Wipes 12. Nappy bags 13. Change of outfit 14. Extra layers of clothing 15. Sun cream 16. Sun hat 17. Woolly hat 18. mits 19. Enough toys to keep her entertained 20. Phone 21. Keys 22. Purse 23. Spare dummy and all thats just for popping out to the shops and im pretty sure that iv forgotten something off this list.

Decorating with baby in tow yestetday

Really not the best idea we've had but it needed doing and lottie was very well behaved (for most of it anyway) and had a lovely 2hour nap so we really managed to get on. When she woke up though all she wanted to do was get to the paint. I can't say I blame her really but seen as its a rented house with cream carpets we spent most the afternoon screaming 'NO'. Its nice now to have our adult bedroom back without kids toys in the bed. The main reason it needed doing (apart from the damp) was that the furniture was arranged to fit a cot aswell but seen as shes settled in her room so well now it seems pointless saving space for it. And feel loads better for having a good clear out of all the crap we seem to accumulate.

Wedding Dilemma- to spend or not to spend- flowergirl dress

Its currently 209 days till the big day and after all Lottie's birthday celebrations thought Id better start thinking about the wedding again and am wondering whether its worth spending alot of money on Lottie's dress? Our wedding is on a bit of a budget anyway, but i want everyone to comment on how beautiful she looks in it. I had fallen in love with a dress for her at a wedding fair but in total would have come to well over £100 for it and that seems a lot for a something shes only going to have on for 8 hours (yes  my dress was more that but it is my wedding day, she'll have hers in 20years or so). My main worry if i buy her one of the high street is that if one of our guests children turn up in the same dress. I have only looked on the Internet so far so will probably be worth going out to some of the shops and seeing what they actually look like.

Why are weddings so complicated I really wish we'd just ran away to Gretna Green now, would save so much fussing. I don't even want to start to think about the guest list because I know it's going to cause me some sleepless nights. Even my 'hen do', that's (hopefully) going to be a spa day, seems stressful to book. When it comes to planning our wedding it constantly feels like everything we do we have to think how our guests will react to it and try not to upset anyone. When i have brides in the salon for their make-up trials I always ask them how the plannings going  and I always give the one piece of advice and I'm sure many of you have heard before "If you can't please everyone, please yourself" think its time I took my own advice.

E xXx

Bed time routine is finally working

For the past 6 weeks me and L have been tierlessly trying to get Lottie to fall asleep by herself in her own cot and i think we have finally cracked it tonight she fell asleep in 5minuets in the dark Woohoo. im sure most parents of 1year olds will be wondering what the big deal is, as im sure alot of parents who have their "perfect little angels" have been doing this for months already. But for lazy parents like us who let her fall asleep in our arms while we watched Tv and let her sleep in our bed, i know i know we're bad parents but between my anxity making me exhausted and L working a different shift everyday (getting in at 10.30pm leaving again at 6.15am the next morning), its been a big change for all of us and after having quite a few nights where iv wanted to throw in the towel, but somehow amazingly we've struggled through and she now sleeps though the night on her own.It's best feeling ever so proud of her and us.
And also gives me and L some time back for ourselves.

first blog post

Hi iv never written a blog before so you'll have to bare with me while i get to grips with it, and im afraid put up with my rants. let me introduce myself im Elouise im 20 and have a beautiful 1 year old daughter Scarlett or Lottie for short, on 1st December i'll become Mrs Horan, i also work part time as a Beauty Therapist.
Since having Lottie iv also suffered from anxiety an illness that i think many mums and doctors over look due to the symptoms not being overly obvious. So i also hope to raise awareness of anxity and make people realise the seriousness of the illness.
 Hope you enjoy reading my blog and please feel free to leave comments
Lots of love