Tuesday, 28 April 2015

When perfect isn't perfect

I always have these ideals of how we'll spend our family time together, we'll all be happy and laughing, non of the children will cry, we'll be dressed nicely and the children will look presentable. In reality it never happens like that, on Sunday after a busy few days for S's birthday we thought that going out for a little walk would be a lovely end to an exciting weekend. S wanted to go on her bike and with the weather been so bad the past few months we thought it would be a good chance for her to have a practice.

With S going on her bike we decided that we'd better only go to the playground around the corner. We put E on the smart trike and H in the pushchair. Sounds like my perfect Sunday afternoon. We'd got about 20 yards and I realised what a bad idea it was! S kept stopping and having tantrums because the footpath is so uneven and because she peddles a few feet then stops, she gets stuck on the uneven bits. E was getting fed up of being stopped every few yards and so was H who was tired and needed to keep moving to get him off to sleep. 

At the end of our road S some how managed to fall off her bike (despite it having stabilisers) and that was it then, she hadn't hurt herself other than her pride, but she screamed and screamed the whole road must of heard her. I was ready for home but we'd promised them that we would go out and we couldn't go back on it. We carried on and S continued to find things to cry about. Goodness only knows what we looked like, both S and E's noses were streaming their hair that was now luggy and messed up stuck to their faces. 

When we finally got to the playground they both insisted on taking their coats off even though it was freezing, although after 10 minutes they both asked for them back because they were cold. I really felt like an awful parent, luckily we hardly saw anyone else.
I sent Mr off to the shop to get us all a drink and after that we decided to head home. It took us ages to walk what normally take 5 minutes. Every few steps S would break down in a paddy about wanting to get on/off her bike, needing a wee, being hungry /thirsty, home being too far away, the list could go on. 

When we finally got home and Mr sneaked off for what ended up a 2 hour nap, I stuck 'The little mermaid' on for the girls which they must of sat nicely for all of 10 minutes. H had a nappy explosion, the house was an absolute mess, as I was tidying one room they were messing up another. It got to the point where I literally wanted to cry. So I did my usual trick when it starts getting a bit much for me and emptied the bin so I could have a breath of fresh air.

My very scruffy children having a drinks break on the roundabout!
Sometimes it feels like my life is literally crumbling around me. How do these people do it where all their children are always happy and well dressed with neat hair. They're so well behaved and polite. I want to be the sort of family who go out for woodland walks on a Sunday afternoon. It makes me feel like I'm failing miserably as a mum. All Mr wants to when he's at home is play on his Xbox and just doesn't want to have this 'family time' together, as soon as something like that happens he just gets stressed himself and seems to leave me to it. the fact that S hasn't got into her first choice of school isn't helping my mood and even though I've decided to appeal it now means a few more months of stress. I guess i'm just feeling really down at the minute and in need of a break. I love my life, I really do, but sometimes I just wish it was how I imagined it would be. Sorry for a depressing post, just wanted to get it all off my chest. 

Does anyone have any tips on how to stay calm in a chaotic household? 

Elly xx

No comments:

Post a Comment