Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Month 9 as a mummy of 3

June 2015

June seems to have been just as manic and tiring as May, but it feels like there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel and as I write this as we're entering July life feels like it getting back on track.

E turned 2 at the start of June, and I really don't know where its gone, life's been so busy with buying the house, 2 job promotions and H coming along that since she was born it really has flown by. I often refer to E as my mini me not only because we have the same position in the family (we both have an older sister and a younger brother) but also her very determined personality and always wanting to know everything. 
We had a really laid back day, we were going to go swimming but she was so tired that she had a nap instead and we decided that we'd go in a week or two. My now big girl has also really surprised me and has given up her dummy. S was so easy when we got rid of hers, she cried at one nap time and never asked for it again. E has a completely different personality and I really didn't think that she would give them up, the 1st 4 days were really hard but after that and when she a got a present for being such a big girl it became a lot easier.

Mr had to do a week on nights which was tortuous for me. In theory it was going to work perfectly, he'd help put the littles to bed then have an hour to chill & get ready and go work at 9pm, finish at 7am and be home before 8, either spend an hour with us or help get us ready to leave if it was a nursery day, then sleep till 5/6pm eat dinner and repeat. In practice he didn't get home till late morning because of the amount of paperwork that he had to do, then was really grumpy when the noise of us running the bath woke him. Trying to keep us busy and out of the house was the hardest part. H had another abscess that week so he wasn't sleeping well, the girls seemed to have a bad week as well, I think they picked up on our stress. In a way I felt good that knowing that I could cope on my own and I've got a new respect for single mums, who have to do it on their own all the time.

Its been a bad month for my poor wee H, he has cut his first teeth, his top middle ones, and has had 2 more abscesses. the 1st abscess was when Mr was on nights, he went straight onto the strongest antibiotics which cleared it up nicely. It was helped along by the fact that he can now pull himself up to stand but cant get back down so he just plonks down on his bum which popped it, so with all the gunk out it cleared out quicker than normal. Having said that 4 days after stopping the antibiotics another one has appeared, in a different place this time. He was straight back on the antibiotics and have been told that if he has two more this year then we will be referred back to the surgeons at the children's hospital.

I finally have some news on S's school appeal. We received her appeal hearing date, which typically is while we are on holiday in July, but the letter stated that I don't need to attend if I don't want to as the school has indicated that they can accept all the children who have appealed as they have a enough spaces. I'm feeling so relieved about it all, i'm now hoping that when we get back of holiday there will be a nice official letter confirming it and that we can organise a visit to the school again and order her uniform. It's all becoming very real now that in just 2 months time my little baby will be starting big school.

Thanks for reading 
Elly x

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Month 8 as a mummy of 3

May 2015
This month has been a really hard month for me, Mr has started his new job which is really long hours, mix that with lots of illness and still stressing about S's school place I really feel like I've been struggling lately I'm hoping that everything will soon settle into place and calm down.

Mr's job has been a big change for us all, he's often out of the house before we wake up and not back until I'm putting the littles to bed, some days he comes home and has absolutely loved it, feeling great and other days he's found it really stressful and isn't sure if its worth all the hassle. He's also fitting driving lessons in around it just to put the cherry on the cake. I cant wait for him to finish the training in August, the hours will still be long but hopefully will have more of a pattern to them so we can get into a better routine.

This month has also seen H learn to sit up and crawl, he seems to have been a bit behind in his development but is now powering ahead, the days that he just lay there seem so easy and long ago now. It took 6 weeks of him not being far off crawling for him to realise what to do, but is now into everything especially the dishwasher, I can't take my eyes off him for a second.

We STILL haven't heard anything about S's school appeal. I'm the sort of person who likes to be mega organised (or at least I use to be before having 3 children) so I've been wanting to buy her uniform and generally get us both prepared for this huge change, so far all I've managed to do is buy some pinafore dresses as they're the only thing that's the same at both schools. I don't know what to say to her as I don't want to confuse her, we've missed out on both schools settling in sessions. I do quite often wonder if it's actually worth appealing and if it's just selfish of me to want her to go to the school that I went to. But I think of all the positives of the school and hope it will all be worth it.

H's abscess has come back but luckily a strong dose of antibiotics have gotten rid of it for now, unfortunately the antibiotics triggered oral thrush, poor little baba now refuses all medicine and doesn't trust me at all, I tried sharing my yogurt with him but he wouldn't open his mouth and turned his head away, it makes me so sad. In an attempt to help him I've swapped him to reusable nappies and Naty disposable nappies as they have less chemicals which I'm hoping will be nicer on his bum when he's feeling sore. I'll keep you updated on how we get on.

H's first time in a cloth nappy
Thanks for reading
Elly x

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Month 7 as a mummy of 3

April 2015

This is my last post where I'm a mum of 3 under 4. Which has surprisingly upset me, not that anything is magically going to change overnight, life's still going to be chaotic but it means that this magical time of having 3 really little children is coming to an end. It means that S will soon be starting school, E will soon be talking properly and be 2 in just a few weeks and H will be crawling and walking before I know it. I wish life had a pause button so that I could just sit back and really appreciate how special these ages are.
We didn't get off to a great start this month and spent most of the Easter weekend in and out of hospital with H, you can read about that here. Other than going to hospital we had a nice Easter the children got spoilt as usual with lots of lovely presents. Me and my mum both buy presents instead of chocolate because otherwise they end up with so much that I don't think they appreciate it.

S has had a couple of play dates over the half term and It's made me realise that she really is growing up. At both play dates the children wanted to play upstairs. But we've never put toys in S's room as she only goes in her room to sleep and get dressed. It seems that by the age of 4 it's the norm for children to have toys in their room and to spend time in it on their own. After S's birthday we decided that she could keep her Barbies and dolls in there and see how she gets on with them before putting anything else in.
More bedroom news that H has gone into his own room now, so far so good. The first night he slept through but unfortunately it was a fluke and he usually wakes at some point in the night. It's so strange having an empty room when I go up at night. But it's nice to not have to creep in anymore.

Primary school places were announced this month and like many other families we were disappointed and didn't get our first choice. I do feel very strongly about as it was the school that I went to, it's a Catholic school and although we're not Catholic me and the girls are practicing Christians and I want them to go to a school that has these Christian values, I know not everyone will agree with me on that, but I believe that we should all have the choice of where our children are educated for whatever reason that may be. So we are appealing which is really stressful and annoying because all of S's friends know where they're going and we are still in limbo. Hopefully by my next monthly blog post I'll know more.

Our major event this month was S's birthday and party! Peoples kindness never ceases to amaze me, she got so many lovely cards and presents and had such a lovely time at her party with her friends. Where the last 4 years have gone I really don't know. She's such a head strong and stubborn little girl and at times has me tearing my hair out, but she's also so kind and caring to E and H and will always come and apologise after she's been naughty, it makes my heart melt. Happy Birthday to the little girl who made me a Mummy and the person I always wanted to be! 

This month hasn't all been perfect and I've certainly had my bad days including the day after S's party, you can read about that here. It has had its good points especially the week after when we had some lovely weather and that instantly put me in a better mood. On the Wednesday, once we picked the girls up from nursery we went for a picnic in the park which certainly made me feel like a better mum seeing them all so happy and having fun.

I've also made myself start going to baby classes, I've never really gone to them before because I hate going to places where I don't know anyone. When S was first born I went to a baby massage massage class which I really enjoyed and I've been to the odd play group but usually end up sitting there holding back tears as I'm not very good at meeting new people as I'm really shy. I decided at the start of the month that I needed to overcome my fear as it's not fair that the children should suffer because of it. There was a new class starting locally which seemed like the perfect opportunity for me because with it being a new class there wouldn't already be 'cliques' so I wouldn't feel like an outsider and with it being a class as apposed to a play group I knew the parents wouldn't just be sitting around nattering drinking tea. We have been to 3 classes so far and absolutely love it. It's on a Thursday when S is having swimming lessons with nursery, it's nice to have a bit of time with the littlest two. It's been a long time since anxiety has severely affected me(nearly 3 years), recently I have felt it creeping back in but doing this has really made me feel like I've kicked its ass and told it to jog on.

H still can't quite sit by himself he just doesn't seem interested in it, he would much rather be on his tummy trying to crawl, I suspect that by next months post he will be off. he still loves cuddles which is so nice as by this age the girls weren't as bothered and would rather be off playing or exploring, I'm going to enjoy every moment  of my extended baby days. Has anyone else found that boys love cuddles more than girls?

Trying his hardest to crawl
Thanks for reading
Elly xx

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

When perfect isn't perfect

I always have these ideals of how we'll spend our family time together, we'll all be happy and laughing, non of the children will cry, we'll be dressed nicely and the children will look presentable. In reality it never happens like that, on Sunday after a busy few days for S's birthday we thought that going out for a little walk would be a lovely end to an exciting weekend. S wanted to go on her bike and with the weather been so bad the past few months we thought it would be a good chance for her to have a practice.

With S going on her bike we decided that we'd better only go to the playground around the corner. We put E on the smart trike and H in the pushchair. Sounds like my perfect Sunday afternoon. We'd got about 20 yards and I realised what a bad idea it was! S kept stopping and having tantrums because the footpath is so uneven and because she peddles a few feet then stops, she gets stuck on the uneven bits. E was getting fed up of being stopped every few yards and so was H who was tired and needed to keep moving to get him off to sleep. 

At the end of our road S some how managed to fall off her bike (despite it having stabilisers) and that was it then, she hadn't hurt herself other than her pride, but she screamed and screamed the whole road must of heard her. I was ready for home but we'd promised them that we would go out and we couldn't go back on it. We carried on and S continued to find things to cry about. Goodness only knows what we looked like, both S and E's noses were streaming their hair that was now luggy and messed up stuck to their faces. 

When we finally got to the playground they both insisted on taking their coats off even though it was freezing, although after 10 minutes they both asked for them back because they were cold. I really felt like an awful parent, luckily we hardly saw anyone else.
I sent Mr off to the shop to get us all a drink and after that we decided to head home. It took us ages to walk what normally take 5 minutes. Every few steps S would break down in a paddy about wanting to get on/off her bike, needing a wee, being hungry /thirsty, home being too far away, the list could go on. 

When we finally got home and Mr sneaked off for what ended up a 2 hour nap, I stuck 'The little mermaid' on for the girls which they must of sat nicely for all of 10 minutes. H had a nappy explosion, the house was an absolute mess, as I was tidying one room they were messing up another. It got to the point where I literally wanted to cry. So I did my usual trick when it starts getting a bit much for me and emptied the bin so I could have a breath of fresh air.

My very scruffy children having a drinks break on the roundabout!
Sometimes it feels like my life is literally crumbling around me. How do these people do it where all their children are always happy and well dressed with neat hair. They're so well behaved and polite. I want to be the sort of family who go out for woodland walks on a Sunday afternoon. It makes me feel like I'm failing miserably as a mum. All Mr wants to when he's at home is play on his Xbox and just doesn't want to have this 'family time' together, as soon as something like that happens he just gets stressed himself and seems to leave me to it. the fact that S hasn't got into her first choice of school isn't helping my mood and even though I've decided to appeal it now means a few more months of stress. I guess i'm just feeling really down at the minute and in need of a break. I love my life, I really do, but sometimes I just wish it was how I imagined it would be. Sorry for a depressing post, just wanted to get it all off my chest. 

Does anyone have any tips on how to stay calm in a chaotic household? 

Elly xx

Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Our hospital visit

Some of you who follow me on Twitter might have seen that my poor little H had to go to hospital over the Easter weekend, here's what happened....

Saturday 4th April
10am I changed H's nappy and noticed a lump that looked like a big spot, but without the head, on his right bum cheek. We were about to leave to go to my mums so decided to show her and see what she thought. We got there and when we came back the shops at 12 I showed her. We decided I'd better get it checked out so after a quick lunch we went to the local Minor injuries unit.
The nurses said it looked like an abscess and got me an appointment with the out of hours doctor, that was in the same building for in half an hour.
We saw him and he said that it was definitely an abscess and gave us some antibiotics and said it should clear up in a few days. If it started bleeding or oozing I was to call 111.
We started him on the antibiotics and gave him some calpol and he seemed okay.
For the past week or so H had been really off and grumpy, I'd assumed that he was teething, but now think that it might have been this.

Sunday 5th April
H was still really grumpy and we'd had a terrible nights sleep, but we got up and I gave all 3 children their Easter presents then got them ready to go to church with my mum. H just wasn't himself all day. My in-laws came around in the afternoon for dinner, as they were going I changed H's nappy. The abscess had doubled in size and bled as wiped over it. So I called 111 and they were brilliant and got a doctor to ring me back ten minutes later. She asked loads of questions and told me not to feed him until we knew if he was going to need surgery. She booked us in with an out of hours doctor, unfortunately the clinic based over the back of our house, where there's usually out of hours services, was for some reason blocked out, so we had to travel 9 miles to the next nearest one.

The out of hours Doctor rang the hospital and after speaking to the paediatric team who told him to speak to the surgical team. I get the feeling that he didn't understand what they were saying because when we got to hospital they told us that they couldn't see us as he was to young to have the anesthetic there, the youngest they will anesthetise is 5 years old. We were then sent to the Manchester children's hospital who are the nearest hospital that are specialist enough to do it. Although at 30 miles away and over an hours drive it didn't feel very near.

We went to the A&E department by now it had gone 9pm and we were told that we would be expected, but they didn't know anything about us. We saw a nurse who did all his obs and we're told to wait for one of the surgical team to come. At 20 to midnight we were still waiting so Mr went to ask, 5 minutes later we were seen and told that they couldn't anything that night and we were to go home and be back by 8.30am. As we don't drive we had to wait the hour it took my Dad to get back to the hospital then another hour home. At 2am as we arrived home I gave H his last milk and food that he was allowed and went to bed.

Monday 6th April
At 6am feeling very tired on 3 and half hours sleep my alarm went off. H had his last bit of water and I packed our overnight bag in case we had to stay in. After a quick breakfast and slapping a bit of make-up on we said goodbye to the girls, who were going to spend the day with my mum, and set off.
We got there in plenty of time, so had a little bit of time to wait in the A&E waiting room. A nurse came and did his obs and put the numbing gel on the backs of his hands. Another 15 minutes later and a nurse came to take us up to a ward. I really couldn't believe just how big the hospital was, the corridor went on and on and on. We finally got there,a room with 4 beds. I had assumed we would be put on a ward with other babies but H was the youngest by quite a few years, I instantly felt sorry for all the other people in our room as they had to put up with hours of a poorly and even worse hungry baby.
H really surprised me and although I had to do quite a bit of pacing the room he didn't scream the building down like I expected him to. The nurses kept coming to check on him, at 12 o'clock we were told that if he hadn't gone to theater by 2 they would put him on a drip as he would start to dehydrate. But at 1 we were told that we were next in. The nurses fetched his gown and we got him ready.
It seemed like hours waiting for them to collect us. I managed to stay a lot calmer than I thought I would and kept reminding myself that it's a very quick and simple procedure. My only worry was that he'd react badly to the anesthetic. The nurse came and off we went, again it shocked me just how big the hospital was and when we finally got to theater number 30 the nerves kicked In.

I sat on the operating bed holding him in my arms stroking H's head and they put the mask over his mouth with the gas in. A few seconds later he was fast asleep, they took him off me and lay him on the bed. They let me kiss his hand and then it was time to go. Our nurse was fab and really supportive. She sent us off to get some fresh air and food and had our phone numbers in case of any problems. I was still calmer than I'd expected me to be. We took the opportunity to ring the girls who were having a fabulous time and were about to go to the park.

After we got some food and a latte we went back to H's cubicle to wait to be told that he was waking up. We only seemed to back a few minutes when the nurse came for me, I had been quite selfish and wanted to take him and pick him up as only one of us was allowed to go. When I got there he was already awake and having a cuddle with a nurse. I have never been so glad to have a cuddle with my little man, he seemed really clammy and quite upset but he soon calmed down after a mummy cuddle. 

After the nurse's had handed over we headed back to the ward. After about 20 minuets we were told that we could give him some water. H hates having water out of a bottle as he expects milk and then is disappointed to find that its water, but after being nil by mouth for so long he drank his whole 9oz bottle of water in a few minutes, I've never seen anyone so thirsty. He soon fell back to sleep after he'd had a drink and seemed to sleep most of the afternoon. An hour or so after he had come back to the ward they said that when he woke up he could have some milk, which again he guzzled down. 

Everything seemed to be going great until I went to change his nappy and found something sticking out of the surgical hole. I panicked and thought that it was some of his insides coming out. But luckily it was just me overreacting and it turns our that it was gauze that they put in where the abscess had been to help soak up more of the gunk that they had drained off it. 
At 5pm we were told that they were happy with him and we could be discharged at 6pm, four hours after he came back from theater. The last hour dragged and felt like it would never end, by now the lack of sleep and hard uncomfortable chairs were taking there toll on me and I was definitely ready for home.
At half 6 we walked out the door with some stronger antibiotics, 8pm we finally got home. We put the girls to bed and decided that we deserved a take-away. As soon as we'd eaten we went to bed and the girls very kindly gave us a lie in till half 7 the next morning.

I was really shocked by the size of the incision and worried how I was going to keep it clean and not get it reinfected. But cleaning it with cotton wool and cool boiled water as well as the antibiotics seem to work.
A week later I'm glad to say that it's healing nicely and he seems fine, I just hope that it doesn't come back and we have to go through all that again.

Have your little ones ever had anything similar?

Thanks for reading 
Elly xx 

Monday, 13 April 2015

Month 6 as a mummy of 3

March 2015

I cant quite believe that I've been a mummy of 3 for 6 months now, I really don't know where the time has gone, but here is my 6th month....

If you read my blog post last month, Month 5 as a mummy of 3, you'll have seen that Mr was having some interviews for a promotion at work and we are very relieved to say that he got the promotion *does a happy dance* It's going to mean some pretty big changes as although the money is much better it also means that he will quite often be doing 50 hour weeks. It's going to be strange as some days he'll be gone before we wake up and not back until the children are already in bed, I feel like I'm really going to have to step up as a mum and be there for the children more than ever and I'm going to have to stick to our Routine more just to make the days bearable. I am hoping that it means I might get a little bit more blogging done as I only tend to do it when Mr is working late and it looks like that's going to happen a lot more often now.

Mothers day wasn't quite as I'd imagined it to be as Mr was working all day and my parents were on holiday, so I spent the day at home with 3 rather bored kids, we made cookies but that was about as exciting as it got. The joy of  been a mother, never actually getting a day off as much as you want one, unfortunately children don't understand about mothers day so they still spent the day making a mess and filling nappies. It wasn't all bad I did get a bottle of wine, a nice bunch of roses and some chocolate to enjoy when they were all in bed.

S the little super star has got her 2nd swimming badge, I'm so proud of her and can't wait to take her again to show us how well she's doing. Although I received a letter from nursery saying that after the Easter holidays they will be having a new swimming teacher as they were not happy with the current one and some parents have complained, apparently she was grading them as group rather than on a more individual basis that they normally do. Neither me or Mr had private swimming lessons as children, I had lessons through school and Mr taught himself on a holiday one year. Because of that we didn't know what pace to expect her to learn, so we were pretty happy with her progress, maybe with this new teacher she'll have a few more before the end of the school year.

Yet again we have had an illness, this year we seem to have had one thing after another. This month its been stomach bugs,  we've had two! I desperately want it to be summer so we can have a break from all these bug, I've really had enough this year it's literally been one thing after another, as soon as we get over one thing we've got the next. Fingers crossed that's it for a while now.

We don't seem to have done much with the 'littles' recently, so we took them to the soft play centre on Mr's day off. It really reaffirmed to me just how much we need a car. We went for a bus waited half an hour for it turn up, when it finally did there were already 2 pushchairs on so we couldn't fit, another 20 minutes until another bus came that didn't take us as close so we had to walk the last mile in the rain. By the time we got there I was so stressed, but determined that we were going to spend a nice day together, seeing how happy they were made it worth it. But with a car we would have been there an hour earlier, I wouldn't have been stressed and we wouldn't all be soaking. It also wouldn't have cost us £10 for a taxi back home. I really hope we have a car by the end of year.

Thanks for reading 
Elly xx

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Month 5 as a mummy of 3

February 2015

The biggest thing for us this month was E starting nursery one morning a week. She had 6 settling sessions, where I could stay with her as long as I felt I needed to. I stayed the whole 2 hours at the 1st one then left her 20 minutes on the second session and gradually built it up until the last one where I only stayed for 10 minutes. I'm so proud of how well she's settled in. She only cried for the first two weeks and now goes in quite happily to find her new little friends. Apparently the only time she cries is when her and S have been playing outside together and E's room have to go in a few minutes earlier, and she doesn't want to leave her sister. S thinks it's very novel having E at 'her' nursery and loves being able to be the big "know it all" sister, by showing her around and telling E what she has to do, she likes me to take E to her room first so that she can help drop her off like a mummy.

Mr's had 2 weeks holiday off work, it's been nice having him around in the mornings to help out but by the end of it I was definitely ready for him to go back and get back into my routine. He had to go into work a couple of times on his holiday to have an interview and tests for a promotion. It has made our relationship a bit fraught as he's been very stressed with it all and it's rubbed off on the rest of us. I really can't wait to find out if he has got the job but he doesn't know for another 2 weeks so it looks like I better get use to this stress. If he gets the job our entire lives will change its such a big pay rise and he has to be able to drive which will finally give him the push he needs. Neither me or Mr can drive, I learnt and even had a test when I was 36 weeks pregnant with S, but unfortunately I failed and my driving instructor told me to have a few months off while I settled into motherhood then come back and pick it up again. I never got round to it and now its one of my biggest regrets because it's harder to get someone to watch 3 children than it would of been just with one. Not being able to drive or have a car is starting to make me feel like the kids are missing out on all sorts of trips that are all part of childhood. Just little things like going to garden centres, farm parks and just general days out in different places, where they could learn so much. I'm really hoping that we will have a car by the end of the year.

This month E really has been growing up, we have finally weaned her off her bedtime bottle, she's 20 months old now and it's been bothering me for a while that she to old for a bottle. We have tried a couple of times to stop but she's been so upset by it that we've given in and given her a bottle. This time I got her a new sippy cup that had a silicone spout so she could still lie down, she used that for about a week then would happily have her usual cups, which is much better as she sits up with them and I don't need to worry about her having prolonged contact with the milk that could cause tooth decay. The next step now is ditching the dummy, I'm hoping to do that around her second birthday.

We finally got round to taking the kids swimming. They had so much fun, it was H's first time and we hadn't been with the girls for about 6 months. It was great to see what S has learned in her swimming lessons, I couldn't believe how much she has come on. E was quite scared when we first got in but after watching S for a few minutes she soon wanted to join in. H really liked it as well, I was worried he was going to cry but he spent most of it laughing at the girls and being able to make make big splases when he kicked his legs. After we'd been swimming we took them to feed the ducks in the park which finished the day off nicely.

Thanks for reading Elly x