Month 7 as a mummy of 3

April 2015

This is my last post where I'm a mum of 3 under 4. Which has surprisingly upset me, not that anything is magically going to change overnight, life's still going to be chaotic but it means that this magical time of having 3 really little children is coming to an end. It means that S will soon be starting school, E will soon be talking properly and be 2 in just a few weeks and H will be crawling and walking before I know it. I wish life had a pause button so that I could just sit back and really appreciate how special these ages are.
We didn't get off to a great start this month and spent most of the Easter weekend in and out of hospital with H, you can read about that here. Other than going to hospital we had a nice Easter the children got spoilt as usual with lots of lovely presents. Me and my mum both buy presents instead of chocolate because otherwise they end up with so much that I don't think they appreciate it.

S has had a couple of play dates over the half term and It's made me realise that she really is growing up. At both play dates the children wanted to play upstairs. But we've never put toys in S's room as she only goes in her room to sleep and get dressed. It seems that by the age of 4 it's the norm for children to have toys in their room and to spend time in it on their own. After S's birthday we decided that she could keep her Barbies and dolls in there and see how she gets on with them before putting anything else in.

More bedroom news that H has gone into his own room now, so far so good. The first night he slept through but unfortunately it was a fluke and he usually wakes at some point in the night. It's so strange having an empty room when I go up at night. But it's nice to not have to creep in anymore.

Primary school places were announced this month and like many other families we were disappointed and didn't get our first choice. I do feel very strongly about as it was the school that I went to, it's a Catholic school and although we're not Catholic me and the girls are practicing Christians and I want them to go to a school that has these Christian values, I know not everyone will agree with me on that, but I believe that we should all have the choice of where our children are educated for whatever reason that may be. So we are appealing which is really stressful and annoying because all of S's friends know where they're going and we are still in limbo. Hopefully by my next monthly blog post I'll know more.

Our major event this month was S's birthday and party! Peoples kindness never ceases to amaze me, she got so many lovely cards and presents and had such a lovely time at her party with her friends. Where the last 4 years have gone I really don't know. She's such a head strong and stubborn little girl and at times has me tearing my hair out, but she's also so kind and caring to E and H and will always come and apologise after she's been naughty, it makes my heart melt. Happy Birthday to the little girl who made me a Mummy and the person I always wanted to be! 

This month hasn't all been perfect and I've certainly had my bad days including the day after S's party, you can read about that here. It has had its good points especially the week after when we had some lovely weather and that instantly put me in a better mood. On the Wednesday, once we picked the girls up from nursery we went for a picnic in the park which certainly made me feel like a better mum seeing them all so happy and having fun.

I've also made myself start going to baby classes, I've never really gone to them before because I hate going to places where I don't know anyone. When S was first born I went to a baby massage massage class which I really enjoyed and I've been to the odd play group but usually end up sitting there holding back tears as I'm not very good at meeting new people as I'm really shy. I decided at the start of the month that I needed to overcome my fear as it's not fair that the children should suffer because of it. There was a new class starting locally which seemed like the perfect opportunity for me because with it being a new class there wouldn't already be 'cliques' so I wouldn't feel like an outsider and with it being a class as apposed to a play group I knew the parents wouldn't just be sitting around nattering drinking tea. We have been to 3 classes so far and absolutely love it. It's on a Thursday when S is having swimming lessons with nursery, it's nice to have a bit of time with the littlest two. It's been a long time since anxiety has severely affected me(nearly 3 years), recently I have felt it creeping back in but doing this has really made me feel like I've kicked its ass and told it to jog on.

H still can't quite sit by himself he just doesn't seem interested in it, he would much rather be on his tummy trying to crawl, I suspect that by next months post he will be off. he still loves cuddles which is so nice as by this age the girls weren't as bothered and would rather be off playing or exploring, I'm going to enjoy every moment  of my extended baby days. Has anyone else found that boys love cuddles more than girls?

Trying his hardest to crawl

Thanks for reading
Elly xx

When perfect isn't perfect

I always have these ideals of how we'll spend our family time together, we'll all be happy and laughing, non of the children will cry, we'll be dressed nicely and the children will look presentable. In reality it never happens like that, on Sunday after a busy few days for S's birthday we thought that going out for a little walk would be a lovely end to an exciting weekend. S wanted to go on her bike and with the weather been so bad the past few months we thought it would be a good chance for her to have a practice.

With S going on her bike we decided that we'd better only go to the playground around the corner. We put E on the smart trike and H in the pushchair. Sounds like my perfect Sunday afternoon. We'd got about 20 yards and I realised what a bad idea it was! S kept stopping and having tantrums because the footpath is so uneven and because she peddles a few feet then stops, she gets stuck on the uneven bits. E was getting fed up of being stopped every few yards and so was H who was tired and needed to keep moving to get him off to sleep. 

At the end of our road S some how managed to fall off her bike (despite it having stabilisers) and that was it then, she hadn't hurt herself other than her pride, but she screamed and screamed the whole road must of heard her. I was ready for home but we'd promised them that we would go out and we couldn't go back on it. We carried on and S continued to find things to cry about. Goodness only knows what we looked like, both S and E's noses were streaming their hair that was now luggy and messed up stuck to their faces. 

When we finally got to the playground they both insisted on taking their coats off even though it was freezing, although after 10 minutes they both asked for them back because they were cold. I really felt like an awful parent, luckily we hardly saw anyone else.

I sent Mr off to the shop to get us all a drink and after that we decided to head home. It took us ages to walk what normally take 5 minutes. Every few steps S would break down in a paddy about wanting to get on/off her bike, needing a wee, being hungry /thirsty, home being too far away, the list could go on. 

When we finally got home and Mr sneaked off for what ended up a 2 hour nap, I stuck 'The little mermaid' on for the girls which they must of sat nicely for all of 10 minutes. H had a nappy explosion, the house was an absolute mess, as I was tidying one room they were messing up another. It got to the point where I literally wanted to cry. So I did my usual trick when it starts getting a bit much for me and emptied the bin so I could have a breath of fresh air.

My very scruffy children having a drinks break on the roundabout!

Sometimes it feels like my life is literally crumbling around me. How do these people do it where all their children are always happy and well dressed with neat hair. They're so well behaved and polite. I want to be the sort of family who go out for woodland walks on a Sunday afternoon. It makes me feel like I'm failing miserably as a mum. All Mr wants to when he's at home is play on his Xbox and just doesn't want to have this 'family time' together, as soon as something like that happens he just gets stressed himself and seems to leave me to it. the fact that S hasn't got into her first choice of school isn't helping my mood and even though I've decided to appeal it now means a few more months of stress. I guess i'm just feeling really down at the minute and in need of a break. I love my life, I really do, but sometimes I just wish it was how I imagined it would be. Sorry for a depressing post, just wanted to get it all off my chest. 

Does anyone have any tips on how to stay calm in a chaotic household? 

Elly xx

Month 5 as a mummy of 3

February 2015

The biggest thing for us this month was E starting nursery one morning a week. She had 6 settling sessions, where I could stay with her as long as I felt I needed to. I stayed the whole 2 hours at the 1st one then left her 20 minutes on the second session and gradually built it up until the last one where I only stayed for 10 minutes. I'm so proud of how well she's settled in. She only cried for the first two weeks and now goes in quite happily to find her new little friends. Apparently the only time she cries is when her and S have been playing outside together and E's room have to go in a few minutes earlier, and she doesn't want to leave her sister. S thinks it's very novel having E at 'her' nursery and loves being able to be the big "know it all" sister, by showing her around and telling E what she has to do, she likes me to take E to her room first so that she can help drop her off like a mummy.

Mr's had 2 weeks holiday off work, it's been nice having him around in the mornings to help out but by the end of it I was definitely ready for him to go back and get back into my routine. He had to go into work a couple of times on his holiday to have an interview and tests for a promotion. It has made our relationship a bit fraught as he's been very stressed with it all and it's rubbed off on the rest of us. I really can't wait to find out if he has got the job but he doesn't know for another 2 weeks so it looks like I better get use to this stress. If he gets the job our entire lives will change its such a big pay rise and he has to be able to drive which will finally give him the push he needs. Neither me or Mr can drive, I learnt and even had a test when I was 36 weeks pregnant with S, but unfortunately I failed and my driving instructor told me to have a few months off while I settled into motherhood then come back and pick it up again. I never got round to it and now its one of my biggest regrets because it's harder to get someone to watch 3 children than it would of been just with one. Not being able to drive or have a car is starting to make me feel like the kids are missing out on all sorts of trips that are all part of childhood. Just little things like going to garden centres, farm parks and just general days out in different places, where they could learn so much. I'm really hoping that we will have a car by the end of the year.

This month E really has been growing up, we have finally weaned her off her bedtime bottle, she's 20 months old now and it's been bothering me for a while that she to old for a bottle. We have tried a couple of times to stop but she's been so upset by it that we've given in and given her a bottle. This time I got her a new sippy cup that had a silicone spout so she could still lie down, she used that for about a week then would happily have her usual cups, which is much better as she sits up with them and I don't need to worry about her having prolonged contact with the milk that could cause tooth decay. The next step now is ditching the dummy, I'm hoping to do that around her second birthday.

We finally got round to taking the kids swimming. They had so much fun, it was H's first time and we hadn't been with the girls for about 6 months. It was great to see what S has learned in her swimming lessons, I couldn't believe how much she has come on. E was quite scared when we first got in but after watching S for a few minutes she soon wanted to join in. H really liked it as well, I was worried he was going to cry but he spent most of it laughing at the girls and being able to make make big splases when he kicked his legs. After we'd been swimming we took them to feed the ducks in the park which finished the day off nicely.

Thanks for reading Elly x

Month 3 as a mummy of 3

December is always a special month for us, as it's our wedding anniversary on the 1st, which Is a lovely way to start the month or it would have been if I hadn't forgotten to buy a card, and had to go dashing down to the shops at 9 am! This year I also decided to start a new tradition, a 'December box.' I filled it with some new books; activity books; Snowdog pens; chocolates; a magic Santa key; jigsaw and most importantly our "Elf on the shelf" Eddie although I didn't buy an official 'elf on the the shelf' because to be honest they're faces freak me out a bit. The girls loved him and really enjoyed hunting for him every morning, this is definitely a tradition we will be doing every year.

This year December has also been a special month as we got H Baptised. I really enjoyed myself as I was so much more relaxed and laid back about  than at the girls Christenings. I think because I've done it twice before I knew exactly what to expect. Everything went to plan the only thing that didn't was that it started to snow about 40 minutes into the party, so a few people who lived out of town had to go in case got worse and the roads were closed (this happens quite regularly through winter here).

My nephew turned one in the middle of December, It really upset me, I really don't know where the last year has gone. I wasn't even pregnant with H when I met my nephew for the 1st time. I remember holding him and being really broody and really wishing I could have another baby, but thinking that I can't because it wouldn't be practical. Little did I know that less than a month later I'd be getting a positive pregnancy test!

S's nursery concert went really well, she did great and really enjoyed herself. I felt a bit of a loner as Mr had to work with it being so near Christmas and all the other children seemed to have both of their parents there, she didn't seem to bothered that daddy wasn't there and had such a big smile on her face when she saw me sat in the audience. 
Nursery has had her so hyped up for Christmas, I love it as much as the next person but its been getting a bit to much, she's constantly bad tempered because shes so tired. I know this is just what happens but its our first proper year of it and i'm really surprised just how much it does effect them. Its like nursery treat them like a wind up toy, they keep winding the children up then let them go as the holidays start, so you're let with one over excited child!

This month we had lots of fun doing Christmas crafts; we painted baubles; made reindeer footprint pictures; made magic reindeer food and lots and lots of Christmas biscuits. It was a great way to pass a few days when it was too cold to go out. And they made nice cheap presents for people.

Keeping up with the tradition that we started last year, we went to see Santa on the 23rd, with my mum and this year my sister and nephew came with us. We go to a lovely one in a cavern, we were really impressed as well as it was the same one from last year, he has a lovely welsh accent, which for some reason makes him feel more authentic. 

Christmas was a bit of a blur as usual- after months of build up, a late night building toys and then overly excited children waking you at some unearthly hour, it seems to pass in a sleepy haze especially after that glass of bubbly with lunch. We spent most of the day with my family which I love as its just like being a child again and love seeing my children having the same wonderful Christmas's that I had. Last year we had Lunch at home that Mr made, it was nice but it's not Christmas without my mums Chrismas Dinner. Like every year I can't believe how kind and thoughtful some people are and all 3 of them were spoiled rotten, as a parent its one of the best things seeing your child's face light up as they open their presents. The only problem this year was that E decided that she couldn't be bothered to unwrap them as it looked to much like hard work so insisted that I unwrap them and she'd play with the toy.

Routine

Is it just me that finds that Christmas completely messes with your routine? Well it's now the 13th February and I'm still not back to normal. So I've decided it's time to take action and we now have a very structured plan that's pinned to the fridge to help us stick to it. I've also drawn the the times on little clocks to try and help S start to understand time. 

I don't expect us to stick to the plan perfectly everyday, because some days we obviously have to go out and 3 days a week S has nursery, but hopefully it will just give the children enough of a routine that they will be more settled, better behaved and have a better nights sleep.
I have just about managed to keep our bedtime routine in tact over Christmas, but with 3 children having had chicken pox we have had a few nights where it's gone out of the window.

So here it is our new routine:
7 am Wake up and get dressed
7.30 am Breakfast time
8 am Brush teeth & hair. Hats, coats & gloves on if it a nursery day.
8.30am Telly time or play while mummy sorts the washing and does any other jobs that desperately need doing.
9.30 am Craft time - paint, draw, make or bake
10.30am Snack time
11am Educational play- practice writing with S or flash cards with letters or numbers. And practicing words with E.
12pm Lunch time
12.30pm Quiet time and reading
1pm E's nap time
2pm General playtime- a chance for them to choose what they play
2.30pm Outside play whatever the weather
3pm Snack time
3.30pm General play
5pm Dinner time
5.30pm Quiet time and reading
6pm Bath time, brush teeth, ready for bed, supper and bedtime story
7pm Bed time

Do you find having a routine helps your children?
E xx